How to Get Robbed in Peru

When you know how, it isn't hard to get robbed in Peru. Having lived in Peru for some ten years I see a lot of tourists come to visit this awesome country. However, many tend to leave their common sense at home. Thinking that life is like a Disney movie because they're on vacation they'll thus act accordingly. Forgetting that Peru has its good and bad areas, just like anywhere else, many tourists will recklessly invite robberies and problems.

Being the good Samaritan that I am, I have decided to give them a helping hand by listing a few tips on how to get robbed in Peru.

1) Wear enough jewelry and valuables that will make Mr. T envious.

This is sure to attract a lot of wide-eyed attention. When the rich tourist flaunts his wealth in such a brash manner, he is surely inviting others to help relieve him of the tremendous load he is carrying.

2) Walk around a dangerous area.

Some places are ripe with thieves at all times of the day. They get happily excited when they see a tourist, especially a gringo one, who obviously wants to provide the needy with everything he has on his person. This includes a passport, money, cameras, jewelry, clothes and shoes.

3) Walk around a dangerous area at night.

If you weren't as successful as you had hoped to be at getting robbed in the daytime, then try getting robbed at night. A wonderful place to be at 3 am is downtown Lima. Make sure you go alone, hold a map in your trembling hands, wander around wide-eyed and look as confused as possible. Carry a lot of valuables that are easily accessible, like a passport and cash in your back-pocket. With persistence this strategy will almost never fail to get you robbed, and it has worked wonders for countless tourists.

4) Walk around a dangerous area at night without anything of value.

If your goal is to get robbed in Peru of some of your most valuable possessions, then please skip this suggestion. This tip is for those who wish to experience robbery without losing too much. When out at night in a dangerous area with nothing worth much, you might succeed in getting your shoes and clothes stolen from you. Because you aren't carrying anything of real value your aggressors will give you the added bonus of beating you to a pulp just on principle.

When in Peru follow the tips above. With enough practice, patience and perseverance you too can join the ranks of an elite group of tourists who proudly decree "Yes! I got robbed in Peru!"


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